I don’t want to un-know you.
I want to know why I feel full of smiles and trains of thought
that seem to instinctively coalign with yours for miles and miles
without you looking like you think I might be a little half-mad.
I want to know why, when we meet, my muscles almost immediately feel the pang of the leaving
And with you, the rain to my bones feels almost pleasing.
And I really want to know : if not you, then who?
If not now, then when?
If not for all of this, then for what could I possibly want to want, again and again
than how much I want to know what each sigh and laugh and every shaky feeling meant.
I suppose I can learn to know you less
Leave this settled place of sentiment.
It’s just that I’d love to one day love without it costing
what I can’t seem to beget
Without all this adding up to meaning I love myself LESS
(or for the time being at least)
And all because I had spent the best of me on a dream…
meant for someone else.